Saturday, September 11, 2010

Social Remote Control - What will people say?

Social Remote Control

Most of us will deny that our there is a Social Remote Control in our lives. As we grow and become successful, yes we feel much more control in life and society.
But think deeper, some where back of our mind, we have the society having control on us.

Remember the young days, when almost all of us had a rebel inside us. Some managed to keep it caged while others let it free. But if you think of it, those where the days we had energy but also trouble being accepted.

If you tend to see it, till the age 18 almost 95% of our self esteem is determined. Determined by how we are treated by our Parents, Teachers, Relatives and Friends. Some people have a great self esteem irrespective of how the person looks, performs in sports or studies or family background. Others how ever do not have this trait. They tend to fall short some where, either confidence, speech, expressing emotions etc.

Do you see what is happening here? People with low Self Esteem are victim to the Social Remote Control.

What will happen to a child who is constantly being compared to others , being told he needs to become better, he needs to have some predefined ideals. Overall you are telling the child "You are not right the way you are, YOU NEED TO CHANGE". This is what Social remote control does, DOESN'T ALLOW YOU BE NATURAL.

Take example, two small kids playing with toys, one kid hits another, both of them flight. One kids parents scold him, abuse him for doing this. The other kids parent, accept it, kids do this.
See a small action or inaction by parents have a long term effect.
The first Kids will now always look for approval of his parents before flowing his instinct. What a Artificial Life?

This does not stop in just home or School. The best part is in College or Job when we have friends, we are grown up and have so called control on our life. This is the time we have lot of energy. But where is it channelled.
People who think friends are not one of remote control, think again. Any one who has expectations from you is a remote control. The idea here is not to run away from everyone who has expectations but to understand simply how it affect you. Once you know this, accept this, you will see how others don't have control over you.

You are a clean white board and every one wil come and write something on you.

Friends have great bond and so inherently there is either a strong attachment and sometimes expectations. Your ideas of right and wrong (set in your child hood) will now be altered by your friends. Nothing wrong in it, just be aware how much of these ideas are more experience then being borrowed. More or less same thing happens in Job.

I can't speak of future when there are kids and so on, I am still young at 30 and to be yet blessed with kids.

Right, so we know others have influence on us, but why we are talking about it so much.
Because its very important to understand this part if you want to feel content.

You can only feel content or expanded when you follow your instinct. Instinct is what is really yours, even your logic is borrowed from others. Please, my dear friends, learn to trust your instincts, your own self.

The day you start this life changes. You are born again, as YOU yourself. Your actions will be more favorable for you and others as well. Please study what you like, work in the field you like and pay what ever price is needed for it Smilingly.

If your education is over and you are working in the field, which you do not know is your passion. Simply start doing it the way you would enjoy.

Please be Self Centered. Understand the word Self Centered. A person is self Centered, when his center is with in him/her self. This person is balanced. If your center is outside you, how can you be at rest you are always struggling to avoid falling.

So watch what you do, why you do, understand the Social Remote Control.
And be SELF CENTERED, be balanced and be BORN AGAIN as YOU!


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